Depression is a Label

Depression is very personal.  Since we are all unique, there are no common denominators.  Certainly, it is not easily defined.  Henceforth, the use of the label as description of an individual is somewhat inappropriate.  The label is an unnecessary source of shame.

Despair comes about when a person falls into a hopeless place.  That place can be very vulnerable.  It is place where one can lose one’s perspective.  You may lose any sense in life.  You may be disorientated and desperate.  Because of this vulnerability, it is possible to put too much reliance on external comment or advise.  It is also a place where one can become dependent or, even, addicted.

I think that because depression is so personal, that solutions are not so much from the outside but come from within.  With myself, the realization that came out is that this environment seduces the person to look to external solutions.  It is this environment that promotes immediate gratification that may cause more problems than it solves.  The process of suffering, in and by itself, is not inherently bad.

As humans, we all suffer from the condition of being just that.  Feelings, emotions, and the internal experience does not come from somewhere other than from within.  The sharing of these experiences is what is cathartic.  It is the narrative itself that helps the person that is suffering and the healer.  In order for that healing to occur, both parties need to be on the same playing field.  Titles and egos really have no bearing in the realm of our internal and existential being.

We all can be trapped in our own little worlds.  And they truly are our own little worlds.  We can talk about that and that sharing may relieve the tension.  Thinking that one experience is the same as the other is naïve.  But, that is what the world is trying to convey and sell.  Helping others by expressing or listening may be a way out.  The process of giving and hearing a personal story is sacred.  The ability to listen without any agendas and with a true sense of selflessness is a sign of a compassionate leader or healer.  Those leaders and healers know and accept the fact that we are wounded.








No Silver Bullets

Well, I thought I would give an update on this book.  The book is being published by Brown Publishing.  They are wonderful people that have been very supportive.

I am going to say that this is memoir.  It is about my own experiences with depression and addiction.  I emphasize “my own experiences.” The title speaks for itself.

In an environment that prompts immediate gratification, expectations become unrealistic.  People tend to look for solutions that are complete and absolute.  When not found, frustration and anger occur.  Sometimes, that anger goes inward.  Depression and addiction may occur.

Life is about uncertainty and grappling with ambiguous.  In ambiguity, solutions are found.  I consider ambiguity as a state of internal process.  It is in that internal chaos where we are and where our solutions are found.

The only certainty is uncertainty.  As a famous zen master, Suzuki, implies, “Life is a like the water in a river.  It just flows.”  We can not stop it nor can we control much.  Let it go.


Language: Tool for Good or Weapon of Destruction

Social media serves those that need immediate gratification. In seeking that, a lack of prudence is evident. That leads to results that are not fulfilling and that are meaningless. The type of discourse necessary can be categorized. Most meaningful would be face to face. There is an aura that is there that is not there on the computer.

Brent Blonigan

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Language: Tool for Good or Weapon of Destruction

Language is one of our greatest tools.  It is also one of our deadliest weapons.  What we say, how we say it, where we say, and to whom we say it can all have a tremendous impact.  The environment and the listener’s state of mind add to the impact.  Emotions come into play.  Statements are taken out of context.  Statements can and will be misinterpreted.  Once communicated, one;s statement may have positive or negative results.  There is a strong possibility at times that the resulting reaction to the statement may be completely contrary to the intention.  Once a statement is made, it cannot be taken back.  History is made, and it cannot be reversed.  What is said or has been written down becomes permanently memorialized.  In a word, it is irreparable.

How do you use or separate emotion from verbal communication?  That is the question.  There is no bullet-proof answer.  One of my weaknesses is that my anger gets in my way.  And people get in the way of my anger.  I have gotten in the way of other individuals’ anger.  I am sure that this is the case with many others.  Then, one or the other ends regretting what they have said or not said.  Afterwards, there are feelings of remorse.  If there is retaliation from the recipient, the situation escalates.  There may even by more anger.  Then, the question becomes who is in control and who is not in control–until it reaches a point where there is no possible reparation or no one really cares.

If one is a sociopath or a reptile, I guess none of the really matters, since they are cold-blooded anyway–to them, someone else’s emotions do not matter.  Therefore, they do what they do.  IN business, that type of creature seems to be more prevalent than in the past.  Automation and the Internet does not help.  They have made people more cold-blooded and less thinking.  You do not get a hug from a computer screen or a text message.  Yet, so many people would rather communicate through mechanical devices.

Whatever the case, as far as the above is concerned, it seems that more people in the work environment have become alienated.  Too often, the work environment is perceived as a hostile world that takes the life out of people.  So many times, perhaps because of all the bureaucracy, whether private or public, workers are subject to more than their fair share of angst, dread, and spiritual deprivation.