When I am at a loss for words, I sometimes just watch people. As I watch them, I look at their facial features; I pay attention to what they are doing; and their surroundings. But I pay closest attention to the eyes. Sometimes, I can tell or sense when that person is experiencing some kind of pain. It is aid that the eyes will never lie. It has also been said that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. I think there is truth to both statements. And if that is the truth, then we should all be doing more to reach out rather than pulling back.
When you look at the mirror, what do you look at? Do you ever look at your eyes? It seems to me that I look tired all the time. The unfortunate part is that many agree with that. I am conscious of the fact that I have those proverbial “bags under my eyes.” This is something that my father blessed me with. I inherited these “bags” from him. And I am not going to spend $5000 to or more to remove these “bags”. Besides, I earned the right to have these “bags.”
We talk about masks and our collective inability to see the “real person.” Very rarely are people capable of masking what is going on inside. As I write, I see the eyes of a mother looking concerned about not seeing her child. The child is playing somewhere amongst other children. I see people who are on their smart phones either texting or talking. I see still others who seem distracted or mentally somewhere else. Perhaps, they are worrying or maybe just daydreaming. All of these behaviors are forms of communication.
So, when I am talking or conversing, I make eye contact. If I can’t make eye contact, I have to assume that something is not right. And that something is either some for of pain, lack of trust, or interest. Perhaps, the pain is probably anger, or it may be fear. In any case, the eyes have it–they will communicate the truth. I am never entirely sure why people attempt to avoid eye contact. Maybe it’s just knowing that the behavior, in and of itself, is telling.